Campaign to Create an Emotionally Competent World

Here is a recorded webinar of about 40 minutes in which Tom Stone the founder of The Global Campaign for Emotional Competence explains all about the campaign, how it works and how you can become involved in helping us all be able to live in a new world in which emotional competence is the standard rather than the exception. This webinar was recorded on May 11, 2012.

To directly access the recorded webinar in your browser – click on the heading below

Recorded Webinar – The Global Campaign for Emotional Competence

The Problem – Emotional Incompetence

We live in a world in which people are deeply conditioned in ways that cause them to be quite emotionally incompetent. Emotional Incompetence is the primary cause of many of societies’ worst problems including such things as: crime, addiction, anxiety, depression, a wide array of both physical and mental health problems, post traumatic stress, child abuse, rape, problems with productivity in business, relationship problems in marriages, families, parenting, in education, in the work place, in government and in every area of life. The inability to effectively resolve emotional pain and the deeply conditioned habits of being emotionally reactive, angry, frustrated, disappointed, guilty, ashamed, fearful, anxious, depressed or worried are the primary causes of suffering in human life.

Consider for a moment that we have virtually no training in emotional competence in our educational systems. The entire emphasis is on the development of intellectual competence. This is because the teachers have not been trained in how to be emotionally competent themselves. You can’t teach others how to to be emotionally competent if you don’t know how to be that way yourself.

It doesn’t take much thinking about it to realize that a massive upgrade of the emotional competence level of everyone could do wonders for transforming our world from the current state of ongoing purgatory to a whole new quality of life that for most people would be hardly imaginable.

What would it be like to live in a world in which people were effectively trained and skilled at being able to resolve intense emotional experiences quickly and thoroughly?

• Conflicts of all kinds would become rare and when they did occur would get resolved quickly and easily.
• People would be able to be true to themselves without fearing being controlled or manipulated by others.
• People’s ability to trust and act on their intuition would become normal instead of the exception.
• Being judgmental of oneself and of others would be minimized if not completely eliminated.
• People would see the world as a mirror and take any situation in which they might have formerly been emotionally reactive as an opportunity for their own personal growth instead of habitually rationalizing an anger, frustration or depression reaction.
• People would know how to resolve emotional pain instead of turning to addictive behaviors such as the use of alcohol or drug to self-medicate.
• The suicide rate would plummet or become non-existent.
• The need for prisons would diminish to a small fraction of what it is now.
• The high costs of health care, crime, addiction, divorce, child abuse, lost productivity, absenteeism and even war would be dramatically reduced resulting in balanced national and local government budgets and lowered taxes.
• It would start to approach heaven on earth.

But is this just a pipe dream? How could it be possible to improve emotional competence to achieve such seeming unbelievable changes in our society?

The Solution – New Insights and Techniques have been discovered.

A new form of training in how to rapidly cultivate a greatly increased level of emotional competence has been discovered and is now available. This unique training is based on penetrating insights into why people are so emotionally incompetent in the first place.

The basic cause of emotional incompetence is that during our pre-verbal development years as humans we all get emotionally overwhelmed. No one likes this kind of experience and as a consequence it appears to be a universal reaction to try to avoid intense emotional experiences whenever possible. When such experiences do occur, there is an enormous tendency to avoid having to feel the painful sensations in the body that are associated with the emotionally overwhelming experiences. We develop the habit of not allowing ourselves to feel these intense sensations of emotions to completion. When left incomplete the residual sensations of these emotional experiences tend to accumulate.  Our “database” or “archive” of old unresolved emotionally painful experiences become a part of the basis of all of the behavioral problems, relationship problems, health problems, etc. listed above.

In addition, people are also deeply conditioned in what can be called “reactive emotions.” These are emotions such as anger, disappointment, frustration, sadness, depression, guilt, and shame to list just a few. These kinds of emotions are typically forms of reactions to unmet expectations. Upon close examination it appears that expectations are stories about how we want things to be in our life or how we don’t want things to be. When life shows up differently than we think it should then we have one or more of these kinds of emotional reactions often leading to impulsive or reactive behaviors that we later regret.

Also included in the category of reactive emotions are those emotions that result from the projection of a possible negative outcome onto the future. Projecting the possibility of negative outcomes onto the future results in the emotions of fear, anxiety, panic attacks, worry and in extreme cases even hyper-vigilance.

Here’s a chart showing the useful and not-useful emotions -

Both emotional reactions to unmet expectations and emotional reactions to projections of possible negative outcomes onto the future are actually not reactions to things that actually exist in the “real world.” They are reactions to stories that we are making up in our mind. We make up these stories in attempts to control how life will show up so that we can feel some semblance of control or safety. However, we delude ourselves as making up such stories only serves to lull us into a false notion of safety or control. Life still shows up however it is going to. This habit is also fundamentally based on the conditioning of resisting feeling things fully mentioned above. We don’t want to have more overwhelming emotional experiences so we try to control how things will happen hoping to not have additional experience that we can’t handle and our ability to handle our experiences well is quite limited due to our pre-verbal conditioning of resistance to feeling fully.

All of this conditioning and the accumulation of our two databases of not-useful emotions are the fundamental causes of people being emotionally incompetent.

What’s needed? How can we learn to effectively resolve emotional pain and reactive emotions?

Unfortunately intellectually understanding the nature of our inner emotional landscape and the causes of both incomplete emotional pain and reactive emotions doesn’t result in increased emotional competence. What is required is to learn new ways of handling our emotional experiences that allow us to do the exact opposite of what we are deeply conditioned to do. Instead of avoiding the sensations of emotional painful experiences we need to learn how to feel into the most intense part of the energy of such emotions and feel the sensation of the emotion in such an effective way that we complete it quickly and easily. How to do this efficiently has been discovered and has been named the CORE Technique.

The CORE Technique – Rapidly and thoroughly resolving emotional pain

CORE is an acronym for Center Of Remaining Energy which is an excellent mini-description of how the technique is done. When you learn the CORE Technique you are guided by a trained facilitator or by an interactive audio program on the internet or on a smart phone to do the opposite of what you have been deeply conditioned to do. Instead of going away from the intensity of the sensation of the emotion in the body you are guided to move closer to it, to allow yourself to feel it more fully than ever before. But this “feeling into it” is done is a way that makes it easy to complete the incomplete experience that you have been holding in your body and avoiding feeling previously. This is done by going to the center of the intensity of the sensation, the place where the sensation is the strongest. This is the exact opposite of what we are deeply conditioned to do.

The sensation of the emotional pain in the body is the experience of the “energy field” of the emotion. This is what gives life to the unresolved emotional experience that the body is still producing in us. Without energy there would be no sensation. Upon close and thorough examination it has been discovered that the energy fields of all such incomplete emotional experiences are very hurricane-like in their structure. Because everyone is so deeply habituated to go away from the intensity of such sensations by default no one knows that right in the center of the most intense part of the sensation there is a small opening. It is like the opening at the top of the eye of a hurricane. This opening is the top of a vortex or funnel that runs down the center of the hurricane-like energy field. But no one knows that this is there because they are so deeply conditioned to go away from the intensity of the sensation of the emotion due to fearing being overwhelmed by it.

But the way out of the emotional pain is not to go away from it. That only perpetuates it.
That only keeps it, because the body doesn’t give up on us. It seems that there is some kind of “experiential wisdom” that the body wants us to get by completing the experience of the emotional energy/sensation. This is not intellectual wisdom but rather experiential wisdom. So the body keeps producing the energy field of the incomplete experience as if to say –“Come on! There’s something here I need you to experience!” But our conditioning says – “No thanks! Maybe later! Or maybe never!” It is this conditioning that causes the accumulation of our database of incomplete emotionally painful experiences.

So the CORE Technique teaches you how to do the opposite of what you are deeply conditioned to do. Instead of going away from the area of the sensation of the emotional energy field, you bring your awareness in closer to it. And if you get close enough you will indeed find the little opening at the top of the vortex of this eye of the hurricane, typically right in the center of the most intense area of the emotional sensation. Strangely enough the way out is actually… IN!

When you become skilled at doing the CORE Technique you quickly learn that it is not only quite possible to rapidly complete old painful emotional experiences, you begin to also feel new strong emotional sensations fully and completely right when or immediately after they occur. This allows you to not add additional incomplete emotionally painful energy fields to your database. When you make the decision to become really good at resolving emotional pain using the CORE Technique you simply use the technique at every opportunity to do so and you rapidly develop this aspect of emotional competence.

The SEE Technique – Escaping the prison of emotional reactivity

The sensations of reactive emotions are quite different than the hurricane-like energy fields of incomplete experiences. Reactive emotions are more like a cloud or aura of energy that radiates out into the space around you and engulfs you. If you recall for a moment what it feels like to be angry or anxious you can probably relate to this. These emotional sensations feel like they surround you and trap you inside of them. From inside of these energy fields you experience that your whole environment seems to be tinted with the quality of the reactive emotion. Everything seems to make you angry or anxious or whatever the reactive emotion is. It’s as if you have on tinted glasses that color everything around you. This phenomenon of being inside of the reactive emotional energy field makes it seem that the emotional reaction is about something that is very real. We aren’t aware that the creation of this cloud or aura of emotional energy is a reaction to a story that we are making up in our mind, a story that doesn’t actually exist anywhere in reality but only in our mind. However, although the story is only in our mind, the experience of the emotion is that it seems to fill up the space around us, coloring our experiences, tinting them with the quality of the emotional energy and making it all seem so very real.

Again intellectually understanding the cloud-like nature of reactive emotions and that these are reactions to stories that we are making up in our mind doesn’t help you to stop doing this. The conditioning of our resistance to feeling things fully keeps us stuck inside the energy field rather than feeling the entire field. What is needed with reactive emotions is to allow yourself to feel the whole field of the energy and then to notice the surrounding quietness. Outside the outer most reaches of reactive energy fields is the spacious, expansive quietness of our own awareness, the very awareness that is allowing us to have the experience of the reactive emotion in the first place.

When you take your awareness outside of the energy field of the reactive emotion something very important happens. You are no longer inside of the energy field looking through it. You now see it from outside of it. This changes the perspective in a powerful way. The energy of the emotional reaction no longer colors your apparent reality. It doesn’t seem real anymore and it begins to shrink and fade away.

At this point it becomes quite obvious that you have been having an emotional reaction to a story that you have made up in your mind. When viewed from outside of the energy field it becomes easy to stop feeding energy into the story and the reaction and the whole energy field collapses back into the nothingness from which you created it.

The CORE and SEE Techniques are very powerful tools for creating emotional competence. When learned and used they accomplish two main things. They resolve the “not-useful emotion” that the technique is being used on and they cultivate a new positive form of conditioning, the ability to feel things fully. As feeling things fully becomes your default way of being you become emotionally competent. This means that when you have strong emotional experiences that you don’t get lost to them. You don’t collapse into being overwhelmed by them and you don’t try to mask them with your “drug of choice.”

What is now needed is a massive dissemination of the training in how to do the CORE and SEE Techniques. Such training leads rapidly to greatly increased emotional competence. The advantages of becoming emotionally competent are innumerable. Emotional competence leads to success in all areas of life. If we want to live in an emotionally competent world then we need to become emotionally competent ourselves and also encourage and support others in learning to become emotionally competent as well.

We are starting campaigns in each country in the world to promote the development of emotional competence for each country. This program is just beginning as of 2012. The countries in which the campaign is just starting are:

• New Zealand
• The Netherlands
• Germany
• Switzerland

What you can do to help create an emotionally competent world?

If you would like to be part of this campaign to create an emotionally competent world, here are some things you can do:

• Contribute one more emotionally competent person to your country and to the world by becoming emotionally competent yourself

• Learn the CORE and SEE Techniques and use them in every opportunity
• Take the Free to Succeed Workshop and be guided to resolve your incomplete and reaction emotions. Register to receive information about the Free To Succeed Workshop
• Become a Free to Succeed Facilitator by taking the special training program to learn how to help others become emotionally competent – Register to receive information about this training
• Become a Free to Succeed Workshop Presenter – take the special training program to learn how to take groups of people through the process of resolving their emotional pain and reactive emotions.
• This is a powerful way to help large numbers of people become emotionally competent.
• Become an Ambassador of the Campaign to Create an Emotionally Competent World in your own country. If you would like become an Ambassador of this campaign for your country, email us at info@emotionalcompetence.org.

With the new technology of the CORE and SEE Techniques it is now really possible to create an emotionally competent world. The techniques are so simple and yet so powerful that practicing them for even a short time rapidly develops emotional competence. With the development of these marvelous techniques it is now possible to never have to be the victim of your emotions ever again. Just imagine a world filled with people like that!

Get involved!  You can help create an Emotionally Competent World – email us at info@emotionalcompetence.org.

Free To Succeed

Emotional Competence – The Key to Having the Life Your Really Want

This unsolicited testimonial was received on April 30th, 2012 from S. Carter.

I recently attended a two day workshop in Hamilton with Tom Stone, founder of Great Life Technologies. I attended because I was extremely stressed by my 14 year old son’s behaviour, which consisted of verbal abuse toward me and teachers at school, defiance with everything and non compliance in most things. I initially phoned and asked if I could send him, but it was decided that maybe it would be better for me to attend to learn how to deal with him, as there was every chance he would not be a willing participant in the workshop. 

Since the workshop my relationship with my son has totally changed and his attitude at school has also taken a turn for the better.  The workshop helped me remember how much I loved him and how my reactions to his negative behaviour just exacerbated his bad attitude. The techniques I learned at the workshop were simple and easy to remember, however if I forget there is an audio link to them on Tom’s website.  The change in our relationship was immediate. Even the other day when my son had an explosive and uncontrolled reaction in the car after shopping, I just closed my eyes and accessed my greater awareness place while he got whatever he needed to out of his system. I was barely affected and didn’t try and make it better for him or even snap at him for his tantrum, just let him finish and then carried on as if nothing had happened. It only took minutes for him to calm down instead of most of the day, and we weren’t at each others throats after this episode.  The drive home was great with us conversing and laughing.

It is not as if I have turned into a big softy either. My son still has to earn back privileges that had been denied him before I took this workshop (television, pc and allowance), and understands that he needs to show consistency with attitude in certain areas of his life, but the road ahead looks promising so far. And I know not to fill it up with my expectations of him.

Thank you Tom for this. It was worth every dollar. May it continue to grow at a rapid pace to show everyone the way to a life of peace and joy.

Have you noticed that sometimes you wish that some aspects of your life were better than they are now? It’s quite natural to want more out of life. Pretty much everyone does. But do you find yourself not moving forward toward that better life at the pace that you’d like? And have you wondered why that is but haven’t seemed to really find the answer?

Well, you’re not alone. Most people have the feeling that life could be better but can’t seem to find real answers for how to make it so. It seems like there’s something in the way but whatever it is, it’s well hidden and is evading coming out of hiding.

The main thing that influences how much you succeed in and enjoy your life is the degree to which you are skilled at handling your emotions. Emotional competence translates into maturity, integrity, the ability to be powerfully present, no fear of rejection, no fear of public speaking, no fear of failure, and no fear of success for that matter. Emotional competence means that you no longer are the victim of your emotions. They don’t run your life – you do.

Every situation in life has two basic components, the circumstances and your reaction to those circumstances. Sometimes we can do something about our circumstances but often we can’t. If someone we love dies we can’t bring them back. But with the proper life skills we can do something about our reactions to the various events and circumstances that show up in our lives. However, most people don’t know how to do that.

After all, we don’t get training in emotional competence either in our family of origin or in school. Neither our parents nor our teachers were emotionally competent so they didn’t know what to teach us. What they did by default was to model what they had learned from the conditioning they got from their own emotionally incompetent parents and teachers. The whole focus of education is on intellectual competence and and there is zero focus on emotional competence because the teachers are not trained in what to teach in order to learn true mastery of your emotional life.

In addition, our early childhood conditioning sets us up for being emotionally incompetent, independent of the level of emotional competence of our parents and teachers. When we are little we call get emotionally overwhelmed and nobody likes it. In fact we hate getting emotionally overwhelmed. And even though there seems to be a universal tendency to then become “feeling-avoidant” especially when the feelings are intense, we still get overwhelmed even with all of our efforts to resist feeling things fully.

So it appears to be a real dilemma. Our deep conditioning  to avoid feelings and our lack of any training in how to handle our emotional life results in our not knowing how to resolve emotionally painful experiences. This causes us to accumulate a database of emotional pain and trauma. These deep emotional pains further cause us to develop more “not-useful-emotions” because we then fear that more such painful, unwanted experiences might happen to us in the future.

The result of all of this is that we acquire two databases of not-useful emotions, traumas and reactive emotions. Here’s a picture of what the two databases of not useful emotional looks like.

So what’s the answer to this dilemma? Is there even an answer?

New technologies are being invented all the time in different fields that make it possible to do things that couldn’t be done before. 50 years ago nobody had a cell phone. Now they are everywhere. We didn’t have personal computers – now they are everywhere. Well, what about a new technology of emotional competence? We could really use that!

Fortunately just such a technology has been created. There are now some simple and powerful techniques for developing emotional competence that make it possible to resolve and eliminate both databases of not-useful emotions quickly and easily. These techniques have not been available previously. They are unique and highly effective and they teach you how to do the exact opposite of what you have been deeply conditioned to do.

The techniques are called the Pure Awareness Techniques. There are eight Pure Awareness Techniques in all but two of them are particularly important in the development of Emotional Competence. One is called the CORE Technique. CORE is an acronym for Center Of Remaining Energy and it is a perfect description of how the technique works because it guides you in how to find the center of intensity of the emotional energy field held in your body and how to dive right into the center of this intensity and feel down into the energy field of the emotion so thoroughly that when you finish there is nothing left to feel. Amazingly when you do this properly that particular emotional energy is gone and doesn’t come back. The CORE Technique is the fastest and most powerful way to resolve emotional pain and trauma yet discovered. And it is a lot easier to do it than you would think.

The other technique is called the SEE Technique. This is an acronym for Side Entrance Expansion. The SEE technique teaches you how to take your awareness out to the outer edges of the energy field of reactive emotions such as fear, anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, etc. Once you cross over the outer edge of the energy field of such emotions you then SEE that the emotion is being created in reaction to a story that is only in your mind. Your perspective is quite different than when you are inside of the energy field looking through it. When you are inside of it looking through it, it colors everything and makes it seem very real, even though it is just a reaction to a story that only exists in your mind. The story is either an expectation that you created about how you wanted life to be (but it isn’t how you wanted it to be) or it is the projection of some kind of negative outcome onto the future. And your emotional reaction is to the story not to reality.

When you extract yourself from the energy field of a reactive emotion you come out of its grip and into a quiet and peaceful place which is the larger field of your own awareness. And as you notice that your own awareness is endless, limitless, vast and calm, you gain a wonderful sense of peace and stability as the energy of your reactive emotion collapses back into the nothingness from which you created it. Sounds amazing and in fact it is.

The discovery of the CORE and SEE Techniques are now making it possible for people rapidly develop emotional competence much more quickly and with a much higher level of competence than any previous technology or techniques have been able to provide. These techniques allow you to remove your inner barriers to succeeding in your life. In fact these are the main barriers to your success. If having the life you really want and being able to enjoy it rather than constantly being the victim of your emotions appeals to you then learn and use the simple, powerful techniques and start stepping into a new reality of more and more success and enjoyment of that success in your life.

You can learn exactly how to do the CORE and SEE Techniques in several of my eBooks and Webinars such as Vaporize Your Fear of Public Speaking, Vaporize Your Fear of Rejection, Live the Continuous Experience of Wholeness, Trauma Resolution Made Easy and others. And we now also have interactive audio instructions on the web and as an iPhone app to guide you through the techniques at your own pace.  

Want to stop being the victim of your emotions and finally become emotionally competent, even develop emotional mastery? That’s the way to really clean out the clutter that’s been keeping you from succeeding in your life. And now with the Pure Awareness Techniques you can do that quickly and more easily than ever before. 

I’m teaching a Free to Succeed weekend seminar in Hamilton, New Zealand on April 20th and 21st. For more information about it call Tracy in Tauranga, NZ at 027-848-0222.

New Zealand Premier of the Movie The Keeper of the Keys, Tauranga, Thursday – Historic Village – 7pm – Entry is FREE

Keeper of the Keys Movie Trailer :

The new personal development movie, The Keeper of the Keys is a hit. People are raving about the film.  “I love it!” “It’s so refreshing to see a personal development movie that is funny and done so well!”

One of the experts in the film, Tom Stone, is touring New Zealand and premiering the movie in Tauranga, Napier, Wellington and Auckland. The Premiere in Tauranga will be Thursday, March 1, 2012 at 7 PM. It will be shown at the Historic Village on 17th in the Village Hall. Admission is free and the film will be followed by a brief presentation by Tom Stone in which he will be teaching his powerful Pure Awareness Techniques to attendees. These techniques are described in the film. They are powerful new ways to resolve trauma and anxiety.

Tom will also demonstrate other applications of the new field of Human Software Engineering, a field that he has been pioneering for more than 15 years. One that he will demonstrate is a new method of eliminating one of the major underlying causes of ADD/ADHD. It’s amazing and you will get to see it demonstrated at the post premiere presentation.

This promises to be an entertaining and enlightening evening. Don’t miss it! And invite all of your friends in and near Tauranga to join you for a delightful evening that will transform your life.

Here’s a recent comment from someone who just saw the film -

My wife, Kathryn and I have been students of personal development for over 31 years. “The Keeper of the Keys” is in a league of it’s own. Not only is there great insight and very moving stories, but it’s really FUNNY, too.

What a great way for someone new to personal development to discover it. and what a great way for those of us who have been at it for a while to get a good laugh. The lead character reminds me of myself in my early years.

Both my wife and I highly recommend it.
Harry Mason & Kathryn K Strong

For news about the Keeper of the Keys New Zealand premiere tour with Tom Stone join our list to receive updates by email – Keeper of the Keys – New Zealand Premiere Tour.

Trauma Resolution

Made Easy

It is a widely held belief that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is not curable, that the best you can do is to learn good coping mechanisms. But new technologies are being invented all the time and now for the first time there is a major breakthrough for the field of Trauma Resolution. This book explains new trauma resolution techniques that in one study produced a 63% reduction in symptom severity from just one 6-hour group training. One week later the severity was down to 73% indicating that not only do the positive results of using these new techniques last, they get better over time.

It may seem outrageous to claim that trauma resolution could actually be easy but with the breakthroughs explained in this book, remarkably enough, it is.

See the related post and short video about our trauma relief work in Christchurch, New Zealand beginning in March 2012 – New Zealand Trauma Relief Project